I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
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