I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
