Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
