How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
This is my gift to your gina
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize