how can u be prego again
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
