How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
