Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
Randomize
