hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
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