i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Randomize
