You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
how does that bad decision feel?
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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