this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
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