i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Even my vagina gasped.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
