You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
