So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
