Cold hands, warm shart.
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
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