obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
Your shirt... Was in my pants
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize