I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
I lost the right to judge tonight
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
