My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
