so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
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