with your own penis?
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Randomize
