I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
