dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
