The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
Randomize
