absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
Randomize
