i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Randomize
