just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Randomize
