remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
