Its about making memories worth repressing
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
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