Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
Randomize