She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
he fucked my hip out of place.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
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