I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
