Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
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