I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Randomize
