tell your sister to shave her snatch
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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