I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
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