Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Panties = found
Randomize
