The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Randomize