I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize