so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
Randomize
