Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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