WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Randomize
