After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
