hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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