i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
