would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize
