he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
