Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
