i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Randomize
