If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
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