Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
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