I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
