A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
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