So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Randomize