I bet he comes in French.
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
There's a naked man in my car right now.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
