there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Randomize
