it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
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